Letters

To Beverley Cooper Flynn T.D.

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To :     Beverly Cooper Flynn T.D. (Former Financial advisor)

From : Noel C. Griffin

Dated : 29th of July, 2008  

 

 

Hi B.C.

Just a few lines to let you know that I’m having a bit of bother. You see I’m in receipt of the Invalidity Pension and between The Department of Family and Social Affairs and R. T. E. they won’t give me my free T.V Licence. As a result R.T.É. are threatening to take me to Court where I could be facing a fine of up to €5,000 or up to 6 months in prison. I know that as a sitting T.D you have a lot of experience dealing with both of these bodies. It would mean so much to me if you could find in your heart of hearts to represent me even though I don’t live in your Constituency.

 

On the plus side I might be able to return your favour. I believe that TDs from outside Dublin have recently been awarded an increase in their overnight stay in Dublin to a miserly €155 a night.

 

I reside in a Corporation Flats Complex in the South Inner City. It is a one bedroom with toilet (indoor) a separate Powered Shower Room (it locks from the inside) a Lobby, sitting room and a scullery. The bedroom is sound proof and it also locks from the inside.

 

I’m going to get right to the pitch now. As I’ve already said I have a spare bedroom and I could sleep on the Futon as I’m only 5ft 9 then you could rent the bedroom for €50 a week or €2000 a year if you paid in advance.

 

There are loads of other benefits (1) you would have free parking. (2) I have the free travel pass and you could accompany me as my partner? Free. It would be all year round not just when the Dáil sits. The down side of it is that the lads come regularly to visit me and we all have a good few cans of Dutch Gold. If you like you could join us once you brought your own cans after all me and the lads are all modern thinking men. If you choose not to then you can just stay in your room and watch TV or a video or admire yourself in the mirror that covers the ceiling.

 

Finally I’d be delighted if you would represent me with the DFSA and R.T.É. I know they have an awful lot of respect if not fear of you. I’m enclosing a stamped address envelope. I’m saving the Government money, you could say I’m taking a leaf out of Biffo’s Book.

I eagerly await your advice

Noel          If you have problems of a Personal, Career, Sexual or even a Fictional nature, please contact me at  < This e-mail address is being protected from spambots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it > Remember Always : A problem shared is scandal spread.